So here's my little confession: I have big fears and little fears. But lately one particularly has been plaguing me {AGAIN}. It is the fear of being forgotten, more so being {FORGETTABLE} and indivisible. I don't know what starts it or triggers it, but it can be as simple as an email offering to volunteer for something than not hearing a reply.
I guess the last trigger was a group wide calendar was sent out with {every one's} birthday on it except mine. I know that is wasn't done on purpose but my birthday is a sensitive subject to me. Its always been forgotten. Its right around Labor day and the first week of school. So in the busyness its often overlooked. Or in the case of 6th grade its not even written on the calendar. Mrs. Brotherton I think I know when my birthday is...but she still made me go to the Principal's office for arguing with her and I came back successfully with a note that I was indeed correct about knowing my birthday.
I digress...
I was telling my husband my quandary about saying something about my birthday or not and I kept repeating it's not a {BIG} deal. His only reply was obviously it is or we wouldn't be having this conversation. {OUCH}
But here's the deal I know there is {ONE} who has chosen me. He chose me before I chose Him. How cool is that. He isn't going to leave you or forget you (Deuteronomy 31:8). I can't forget that he died for me...FOR ME! He has loved me for the beginning of time and I am not worthy of that but {HOW AMAZING!} Jesus the creator of the earth loves me and doesn't get to busy for my little fears. He understands them. Maybe because he was once forgotten (Mark 15:34 "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?") Maybe instead its okay to shout out for understanding instead of letting it build up inside?
So here's what I think the Bible is telling me. That I should give those fears at the foot of the cross. Christ didn't die for me to live in fear. Christ died so that I might live...live for HIM. I have also found comfort in {Psalms 133:1} "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"
So yes it was a {BIG} deal but it doesn't have to continue to consume me.
I guess the last trigger was a group wide calendar was sent out with {every one's} birthday on it except mine. I know that is wasn't done on purpose but my birthday is a sensitive subject to me. Its always been forgotten. Its right around Labor day and the first week of school. So in the busyness its often overlooked. Or in the case of 6th grade its not even written on the calendar. Mrs. Brotherton I think I know when my birthday is...but she still made me go to the Principal's office for arguing with her and I came back successfully with a note that I was indeed correct about knowing my birthday.
I digress...
I was telling my husband my quandary about saying something about my birthday or not and I kept repeating it's not a {BIG} deal. His only reply was obviously it is or we wouldn't be having this conversation. {OUCH}
But here's the deal I know there is {ONE} who has chosen me. He chose me before I chose Him. How cool is that. He isn't going to leave you or forget you (Deuteronomy 31:8). I can't forget that he died for me...FOR ME! He has loved me for the beginning of time and I am not worthy of that but {HOW AMAZING!} Jesus the creator of the earth loves me and doesn't get to busy for my little fears. He understands them. Maybe because he was once forgotten (Mark 15:34 "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?") Maybe instead its okay to shout out for understanding instead of letting it build up inside?
So here's what I think the Bible is telling me. That I should give those fears at the foot of the cross. Christ didn't die for me to live in fear. Christ died so that I might live...live for HIM. I have also found comfort in {Psalms 133:1} "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"
So yes it was a {BIG} deal but it doesn't have to continue to consume me.
Jen!!!!!! I was so surprised to hear from you! I jumped very quickly over to your blog and caught up. :o) Reciprocal stalking...
ReplyDeleteMy job at the school is a new position, Receptionist. There are currently two office staf ladies, but they feel like they are too busy and need an additional person. Weird to think about working, but I am excited! Stay in touch. I'll keep up with you too. {when is your birthday?}
Best, Jen
~love the picture of the kids at the bottom~
I hate when I re-read my comments and see a typo.
ReplyDeleteSTAFF. Two f's. Sorry.
I hear and feel your pain. Too close to home to comment about any more, but your conclusion is something I need posted all around my house. Thank
ReplyDeleteAwesome....Christ didn't die for me to live in fear. Love it! I am realizing more and more (maybe it is coming with age - boohoohoo) how fearful I am. Thanks for sharing your heart!
ReplyDelete