Even when you think you stink...

It's been over 5 years since I joined CBS. I had been mildly connected to the organization but because I was working full time it wasn't an option.


 I had a 3 yr old and a 8 mo old and I was pregnant with little man. I literally stopped working on a Friday and by the next Thursday I was in a class. I really joined for adult conversation  I had no idea that I would gain a  passion for studying God's word or that I desperately needed that time in his WORD!


It was weird because for the first time in 10 yrs I had not been in a leadership position. It was nice too. I was able just to focus on our family and seeking who I was in God's family. I had been apart of several religious organizations and had found that my candle had been snuffed out. This was God refilling me and relighting my candle.

I ,of course ,didn't stay on the outskirts for very long. God had other plans for me. I was asked to join leadership and I was able to accept a position in the adult section. I was thankful since I was running what seemed to be my own daycare at home! My position included shepherding 15 ladies. Making calls. I used naptime wisely! Except sometimes I stunk at this job. Some people were hard to get a hold of when I was available. Sometimes they were draining. I just didn't have it in me, I was a terrible shepard.

In fact, one lady I was particularly terrible. She was hard to understand, so phone calls were painful. But I made an effort to speak and spend a few minutes with her in class time. Her grandson is little mans age so we made a connection. I couldn't have been more disconnected. But God doesn't allow effort even ever so meager to go unaccounted. It's been 3 years since she was in my core group and she still seeks me out EVERY week to check in and give me a hug and kiss.  We hold hands and connect... Each week! Even though I thought I might get the award for the worst Shepard.

Even though I am in a different position that truly fits my gifts more God reminds me each week of his great love for ALL HIS CHILDREN. Not just the ones who speak eloquently, or ....the list could go on and on. He reminds me of the need to experience his love and grace through as I connect with the one lady whom I was such a stinky shepherd too! So even when we stink God can make good out of it.

Isaiah 55:8 " for my thoughts are not your thoughts ,neither are your ways my ways, declares The Lord. "